Skrtel Strained His Hamstring?

The season hasn’t even begun and Mr. Terrorist-face-Martin just called me to apologize to me for straining his hamstring. 

“You know that’s a bad sign for the remaining of the season?”  I said.

He was quiet.  Partly because his English is still crap and when he cries, he forgot all the English words that he’s learned since joining the Club.

In order to challenge for the title, we need everyone fit!  And when I said ‘Everyone’, that’s including Nabil (El Zhar)!  Apparently Nabil sprained him medial ligament in his right knee.  Fortunately, I don’t see Nabil playing until the next League Cup game.  This means that he will have plenty of time to heal.

Meanwhile, back to Martin… I’m going to have a talk with Rafa to see his plan with Martin’s injury.  No No No… I know Agger is there to cover.  But what if Agger hurts himself too?  I know someone who is very suited to backup Skrtel and Agger… John Terry anyone?

Not Guilty!

What do you want me to say?  My legal team rocks!? Did you really think that the jury is really going to convict me?  Come on, this is the Liverpool Crown Court, not the Chelsea Supreme Court!  Hello?  Hello?  Have you heard of the term:  "Home Court Advantage?" 

 

Oh, and on that scale of 1-10, I wasn't at level 7 in terms of drunkenness.  My lawyer told me to say '7' because this is a special number for the team.  I wanted to say '8', but my lawyer said that's too much.